I respect people’s beliefs, especially when they are dearly
held, but I also know that I have a duty to at least bring up the subject of
finding explanation of symptoms that may be significant.
My personal and professional life intersected, once again,
within the last week.
A good long-time friend who had become strangely distant in
the past few months died unexpectedly. And I had two new clients - back to back
- whose presentations suggested to me that something was afoot.
All three situations were difficult. I hope I did the right
things…
My friend had always had a bit of a nervous side. When
excited his hands would tremble and he had trouble with seemingly simple
things. I fixed his vacuum cleaner once simply be emptying it.
Looking back, those were early signs that he was having
difficulties with simple tasks. When I asked about the tremor, he told me he
had always had it and not to mind it. He pleaded lack of handy skills with the
vacuum cleaner. Odd.
I have lost my keys plenty of times; I can’t find a street
now and then. I wonder if I am losing it, and then I find things and turn the
right corner.
But this was different. My friend used to go with honey-buns
and I to breakfast or lunch after church Sundays. Suddenly, he had too many
places to go, too many things to do. I chalked it up to his schedule, with the
odd feeling that was not quite the entire explanation.
When his family came into town and went to his home, they
found piles of clutter, food dated 2005-2009 in the fridge, a mess of old bills
and a hoard of dirty clothes, furniture with an inch of dust and grime. He had
been a neat-freak. His home was not like him anymore.
As his survivors and I compared notes over lunch, it came
together. He had mental changes, and fearing he was losing it, he was avoiding
people including myself, who would know better. I feel so sad to know that he
had lived in fear in his last days.
My clients came in just an hour apart. The first had a
slight tremor to her hands, shaky writing on the intake. Lots of health
problems she seemed unable to shake. Perhaps a massage would help. I asked her
after the massage if she felt the slight shake and tension in her hands. No.
Everything is as it has always been.
Trouble was, this client had plenty of doctors and things
going on, just no answers as to why she felt so tired and sore. I suggested a
lot of massage and persistence with her doctors. Sometimes we don’t realize we
are tense, I said, until we start to relax.
My next client couldn’t stop talking. He had injured his
back more than 10 years ago, and it was getting worse. This fellow had been to about
four chiropractors in the past week. Had trigger point injections, adjustments,
machine stretching and strengthening and active release.
I listened to his story, which hopscotched around quite a
bit, and wondered if massage could help him. We can help tension, but what if
the tension is not from injury but from a condition of the mind? I didn’t think
that was my place to broach that. Could I refer?
I asked more questions, he gave me a long list of injuries
and re-injuries. It had gotten so bad the night before he had rolled his back
on some metal air tanks to get relief. I suggested he stop doing that and
proposed he seek the care of an osteopath with experience in cranio-sacral
therapy. Osteopaths also do general medical practice, I thought, and perhaps
would have some ideas on how to deal with reducing the cause of his his pain
and anxiety.
I certainly don’t know if I did the right things with these
folks, but I did try to help. With my hands and my heart.
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