Aw Shucks, Twern’t Nuthin’…

Sometimes clients love their massage so much they bring me gifts. I love a nice card or a bottle of olive oil. A box of cupcakes? Oh please, don’t feed me!

I have to admit it is wonderful for the ego. One long day – a Saturday - my clients brought me lunch. How did they know? Are we psychically linked?

Gifts are wonderful expressions of thanks, but are there a place to draw the line? Do we massage therapists’ need one?

When I worked at a newspaper we had strict rules because we didn’t want any implied or perceived favoritism through gifts. We in the news section picked up the lunch check; we turned down the offered goodies. But it was not all black and white. One day the business editor decided it was OK to accept goodies if it could be consumed in an afternoon. The next day the business section got a case of wine. Meanwhile, the travel editors and the sports guys did all kinds of things for free.

But in the therapeutic realm, is there a reason to turn down gifts? I don’t know. A sandwich and a box of cupcakes seem fine. What about a Hawaiian vacation? A free refi? Sponsorship at the country club? If it is a substantial gift is it still OK?

One of my good friends, a personal trainer, got a nice-looking pair of diamond earrings from a client at the holidays. She was fine with it, actually pretty giddy. It seemed to me fine to accept, as long as the client was not doing it for romantic reasons, which he wasn’t.

I guess I will think that one through if it ever comes up for me.

How do therapists feel about gifts? Are they bonuses for a job well done? Will they cause a problem in the therapeutic relationship? Are they any different from other tips?

Oh my the question virus has bitten me today. I suspect gifts are OK as long as they don’t stand in for something else – an invitation to a personal relationship or some obligation outside the massage room. That makes the free helicopter sightseeing ride a no-no because a lonely male client offers it. But the free use of the vacation home for a weekend seems all right. Therapists, what do you think?