Un-Couplings

Providing massages for married couples has always been a pleasure. I enjoy seeing the same people for massages and hearing from them how they are doing with life’s stresses – the kids, the business, the in-laws, whatever.

            

It’s always made business sense as well. I will do two instead of one massage at a house call, or in the office, and often couples like to have longer massages. I may head home from a couples massage having done three to four hours of massage in a single call.

            

Married folks often send referrals my way, so in general, it has always been a pleasant experience.

            

Mostly.

           

Here’s the bottom line:

When a couple is getting a divorce, which gets the massage therapist?

I had not realized I was part of the settlement issues as one of my couples wound round the full circle of life and gunned it to Splits Ville. I have seen these folks since 1996, almost my entire career. To say I have felt uncomfortable about this whole d-i-v-o-r-c-e thing is an understatement.

First, I had to deal with some bad news for my ego. Massaging together does not prevent divorce. It might even help people see more clearly that they need to make new life arrangements 

Second, I had to deal with the table talk. Listening, but not getting involved. Listening, but not taking sides. Listening, and trying to be sympathetic without asking any questions. Listening to very oddly un-alike versions of the same incidents and conversations. Do shrinks go through this?

Some of this process felt like being accidentally stuck in a coat-closet while a couple have a furious and hushed argument right outside the door. I cringed, I twisted, and I tried not to hear any of the intimate details

Happily, most couples I see for massage are not going to be breaking up very soon. They seem not only content, but bonded in a way that works for them as the years pass.

Oh, and she got me in the settlement. His nibs was embarking on a new path that apparently does not involve massage. Whew!