Why Do Men Do What They Do?

Massaging folks who like to exercise and play hard, I have to say that some people amaze me. Well, actually, specifically men who do some of the strangest, most dangerous things in the name of fun and fitness.

Here, direct from the secret hidden files of my massage practice, is a list of the worst, hall-of-fame list of strange things guys have done having fun and staying fit.

While pitching for the local adult baseball league, he threw out his arm at the start on the big regional tournament. No problem. He just pitched with the other arm. All five games.

After working two solid weeks of unreal overtime, he decided to go for a teamwork dinner with the guys. Hey, let’s go to the big family-style Italian restaurant late at night. Let’s eat five courses. Next day, let’s go to the gym to try and burn off 11,000 calories at once by doing lots of snap jerks. Seemed like great ideas at the time.
He picked a balmy, 100-degree day to go bicycling in the hills. A muscle-building, stamina challenge pedaling five miles uphill. Just before he got to the top, he had to find some thick bushes so he could throw up while soiling his pants. I suggested he take identification on his next bike ride so the widow wouldn’t have to wait long for her check.

Hey, running those big hoses off the fire truck all day can be pretty tiring. Why don’t we all go to the new trampoline place after work? A bunch of stressed middle-aged firefighters playing team dodge-ball on trampolines? What could possibly go wrong?

I just don’t understand that behavior. Why would anyone play dodge-ball on trampolines when they could relax after work with a bubble bath and a gossip magazine?