Welcome to Lumbarville

Low back pain probably costs about a billion bucks a year in lost productivity, treatments and aggravation. What makes it even more unbearable is that people who have never had back pain can wake up one day and wonder what is wrong with them.

Wrong is a hard place to be for people who usually bounce back from injuries, giving themselves some time to stretch and soak and that little sore spot goes away.

So I had sympathy for the young man who limped into my office a few weeks ago, protecting his right side, unable to sit or stand or do anything for very long.

This fellow was tall, thin, a former track star, an athletic person who could not believe that his back had betrayed him. “I can’t move. I can’t lay still. I can’t sit. I’m hurting!”

The look of agony on his face was shocking to me, and I’ve been massaging bad backs, necks, etc. for years.

“Let’s see what we can do.”

The lumbar area was screaming as he tried to get on the table. I used hip bumpers to soften the stretch and tried a few effleurages to calm him down. As he started to relax during the massage, he told me what he had been doing lately.

He is the junior manager at a restaurant, so I asked him if he had gotten the crappy chair. Yep, and he got the crappy desk and a schedule that led him to bop up and down all day, helping with everything from reports to deliveries.

What about exercise?

“I get plenty of that at work,” he said. “I’m tired when I get home. I watch TV for a while and fall asleep.”

Uhuh. What are you driving?

“A Camaro.”

Well, those stressed flexors had crinkled up like pretzels under hot lights at the Bijou. I gave him some advice. Ask for a better chair. Stand for a minute when you get up from your desk before you start walking. Stay off the couch. Stretch gradually and get a daily walk. Sit in the car before you swing your legs in.

That really went over well, I must say. He looked at me like I had just gone over directions to the Mad Hatter’s Tea Party at the Batcave.

It made me remember my own back problems. I was short, stocky and stressed. The p.t. who was evaluating me suggested I lose weight, exercise daily and ice. I didn’t want to do any of that.

I wanted to be fixed. And I felt a bit judged.

I’m glad I remembered that.

“If you can make a couple of little changes at your desk and take a few seconds to lengthen your flexors before you walk, it will help make the massage more effective, and you will get better faster,” I said.

“Nothing like this has ever happened to me before,” he said.

“It is very scary,” I said. “But you will feel better. Can I get you a glass of water?”