Getting Away from It All

I have a bunch of spinning turtles in my office reception, a small plexi-glass Wyland sculpture that stands atop a stand that rotates and slowly changes color. The little turtles help people relax while waiting for their massage by suggesting the calming energy of sea turtles and vacation days in Hawaii.

Triggering such fond memories, I barely have to touch the clients. Or so I thought. This client loved the turtles, spinning in their little wave, and she told me a story.

A few years ago she was diagnosed with lupus, and she started working from home to reduce her stress and avoid exposure to infections. After a while of working from home, it occurred to her she could work anywhere with a computer connection, so she looked around for a vacation spot.

She found what seemed like an ideal situation: a beachfront home in Maui, and rather than rent the entire house, she could rent a room. She signed up for eight weeks.

“I was thinking Hawaii, right on the beach, there’s no stress, I’m sure to feel better and do better in that climate,” she said. “It would be so great for my health.”

So it was, a great house on the beach, a clean room and peace and quiet. Her only companion in the home was the caretaker.

He was a massage therapist and seemed to know the island very well. Over morning coffee they made plans to take the car to the farmer’s market.

All seemed well until they were in the car and he let her in on his secret. Space aliens had invaded the earth and were interbreeding with humans and slowly taking over the entire planet. He’d come to Hawaii to get away from it all, and he was part of a network of people who were secretly fighting against the invaders. He turned on the CD player. A man with a Scottish accent talked about the aliens and their plans.

The invasion was global.

She waited for him to announce the joke. But he was serious - and determined to be listened to. He wouldn’t shut up and started to harangue her about all the evidence and proof he had and how she had to listen to him to save her life. The more he talked, the more angry he became. She wondered about her safety, looking out at the waves on that sparkling beach with turtles.

Well, she did get out of there, cutting her trip short and heading back home. It was a relief to get off the plane.

“I did talk to the owner, eventually, and I told her what he was going on about. But he had been there for years, and they knew him very well. Turned out she believed in the space aliens, too,” she said.

“I just couldn’t believe it. Here I am in paradise with this bunch of people who believe in space aliens. I’m never going back to Maui.”

“I like Kona,” I said, looking at the turtles changing colors. “You might want to give the big island a try.”