December 5, 2009


It seems that at least once or twice a month our massage business gets a call from some weirdo/chauvinist/pervert. How does one get tagged with the label "weirdo/chauvinist/pervert?" Well, one calls the front desk of a massage business and asks about booking a massage and wants to know more about what kinds of massage we do. When a person mentions "kinds of massage," we (being sane) think in terms of Swedish, myofascial, lomi lomi, deep/light, etc. So we stupidly begin explaining types of massage, completely unaware that the person's (or weirdo's) next question will involve at least two of the following: therapist age, gender, and physical description; "groin injuries," "sudden erections," and in rare pseudo-intellectual calls, the ol' "inguinal ligament issue." And ninety-nine percent of the time, all of these questions will be posed by weirdos/chauvinists/perverts because . . . normal, well-adjusted people just don't ask them, at least in this context. Come on people: if you have a legitamate groin injury, why would a young, busty female therapist be your only hope?

What irritates me most is the waste of time. We could be spending this time answering the legitimate questions of people who need our help instead of listening to people who say things like--and I quote--"It's just nicer to get a massage from a woman who doesn't look like a 450 pound gorilla." Um, sure, James Bond . . . if only I had a button I could hit that would fry your groin with a thousand points of light.

But alas, our phones have no such buttons. Instead, I've found the quickest way to deal with weirdos/chauvinist/perverts is to have the front desk tell them nothing but that they do have one therapist open who deals with "groin injuries," and HIS name is . . . You'd be surprised at how quickly such callers sudden realize that they don't really need a massage that much after all.

1 comment:

MT4u2 said...

I wish my spa was better at weeding these people out, but they don't make any effort. Clients are allowed to ask for a thin therapist, a pretty therapist, an Asian therapist, and even look at the therapist before agreeing to book, all without comment from the front desk. It wears you down. When I do get a client who understands the benefits of massage and appreciates what I can do for them professionally, it makes it possible for me to work there.