Massage Music We'd Enjoy Hearing Again, Again, and Again….

Okay, so no whining or anything this time, because I have been pretty busy lately. Busy enough I’m starting to get a little silly. So Saturday I did like 500 massages in 10 hours and I left the I-Pod in the car and had to play my CD player, antique that it is, all day and I didn’t have time to change the CD.

Yeppers, by the end of the day I was pretty tired and quite a bit mental. The CD was fine the first few times. And, best of all, it was exactly 60 minutes, no small feat when you have about a thousand CDs specially designed for massage music and no one actually bothers putting the total minutes on the label so you have to add up each individual track and see if it comes close to 60 minutes and if it doesn’t….well, you get what I mean. The darn thing did the job, and folks seemed quite relaxed and happy when they left.

But by quitting time I needed an aural deprivation tank. Good Gravy there is nothing like new agey, non-climactic, easy listening la-la music to make you feel like you will never nap again.

Silly la-la me, I thought of some neat-o massage CD titles on the way home. It kept me awake, and I imagined it with rippin’ graphics on late-night TV. I like Jay better, but I love the Top Ten. Hopefully the phrase is trademarked and I will get a frame-able threatening letter from a cute, gullible intern.

So here goes: My Personal “Top Ten” List of Massage Music CDs I’m Sure All Therapists Would Like to Hear Because We Are Convinced We Have Already Heard Them Three Times Today:

Number Ten: “Running Water Makes Our Clients Pee” by the Bivalve Machine

Number Nine: “Please Don’t Play This Again Indoors” by Whales Who Sound Like Distressed Infants

Number Eight: “Nobody Knows the Stretch-Marks I’ve Seen” by the LMTs

Number Seven: “Really Slow, Sad Classical Music that Reminds People of Beloved Dead Pets”

Number Six: “Where Did I Leave the Oil Bottle?” By the Gingko Bilobas

Number Five: “Loosen Up My Trigger Points So I Can Go to the Batting Cages and Imagine My Boss’s Face on Every Ball” by the Chronic Clients Who Won’t Go Away

Number Four: “High-Pitched Female Voices Singing About Lost Loves” by the Most Annoying CDs Ever.

Number Three: “No Clean Sheets!”

Number Two: “Who Farted?” by the Psychedelic Tubas

And the NUMBER ONE massage therapy CD we would like to see because we think we have heard it three times already today:

“Fall Asleep Standing Up” by the Elevator Music Company!