Four In-Laws, Two Parents and One Wedding

We have minutes, centimeters, inches and cups and all kinds of ways of measuring things, but we massage therapists don’t have a great way to measure tension.

How tense is someone during final exams? What about IRS audits? Or a divorce?

It seems that if we can measure everything in life we should have some sort of gold standard for tension, especially in these days when the relative value scale of stress as expressed in soft tissue has reached new heights.

I hereby propose the FILTPOW, a measurement of muscular tension that I dedicate to a lovely client who actually has four in-laws, two parents and has just survived organizing a big wedding.

The FILTPOW measures the exact angle of stoop between T3 and C6, multiplied by the number of shallow breaths per hour and divided by the number of minutes it takes to get all the old folks to go potty and into the van and off to the church on time.

It can be lowered on the wedding day by a medicinal glass of wine at 7 a.m. or a primal scream in the safety of the ladies room, but is heightened by the arrival of the groom in a wheelbarrow.

Thus a 10-hour day reading budget lines on a computer screen would be the equivalent of .23 FILTPOWs while a trip to jail to bail out a spouse should be about 1.5 FILTPOWs. Having to post the house to make bail would raise the bar to 2.2 FILTPOWs.

Using the FILTPOW scale would help us in documenting our massages, and we can, like the folks at the earthquake tracking center, use a scale that out-Richter’s Richter.

True, some measurements such as the mile are quaint reminders of when we walked a lot and felt every step. In the modern world, a mile is a minute on the freeway, but a FILTPOW is a true measure of how much a vertebrate organism can take at family gatherings.
Well, I hope FILTPOWs catch on.

I’d like FILTPOWs to go the way of Smoots, a measurement of how many times it takes a group of friends to roll a drunken MIT freshman named Dick Smoot to get across the Mass Ave. Bridge. If memory serves, the distance was about 1538 Smoots. Thus history is made.

How Many Repetitions Are Enough?

Clients often ask me how many times they should be doing an exercise to build strength. Often they are coming from a more-is-better place - the gym - and they are confused.

I don’t always feel comfortable answering that question, either. How many repetitions of an exercise are fine may well depend on what the point of the exercise is – strength? size? flexibility? What about function? If the muscle is a core muscle, does that change the formula as opposed to those muscles we like to see flexing in the mirror?

And what do I, as a massage therapist, really know about exercise? Do I need a course in physical exercise to answer that question? What if I say something different or conflicting from what the trainer says?

I would like to know how other massage therapists handle this question.

Of course, in the meantime, I’ll give you an idea of how I handle that question. I touch people all day, and I get a feel for muscle health in terms of its aerobic state, lymph circulation, and flexibility. Over the years I have learned to trust my hands when they tell me something. I know that granular, adhesed muscles won’t stretch or exercise very well.

After some massages and stretching, they may be ready to perform. The nervous system, truly, is in charge. If the parasympathetic system is not engaged, change is not about to take place.

If that sounds like a massage therapist’s answer to another massage therapist, it is. And it’s way too complicated for clients. I usually go simple and easy.

I tell clients like to do three slow, pain-free repetitions. Three isn’t many, but I say three because everyone ignores the slow, pain-free parts. If those reps go okay, then I’ll do something else and then do another set of three. Three reps, three sets.

That is a lot less than the standard gym advice of three sets of fifteen, done in succession. It’s so way off from what most people are told that it does get their attention.

For me the bottom line is that muscles need to be relaxed and pain-free to exercise in a healthy way. If something is too tight or hurts to move, the body will protect it by substituting another muscle or group, or the muscle will be injured. Repetitions that feel good generally are going to help. Wobbly, strained, borderline-painful repetitions are going to make problems worse.

Sometimes the biggest change I can get from people is to stop instead of pushing through a pain. Shoving through pain only works if you are in the NFL. They have a good pension plan.

Ergonomic Gardening

Gardening is a matter of your enthusiasm holding up until your back gets used to it. ~Anonymous

Spring has sprung—well, sort of—well, at least we had a couple of sunny days last week—um, until it snowed on Sunday... Anyway, the hint of warmer weather means hands are itching to start digging in the dirt. My stepmother was a landscape designer so, despite my total lack of a green thumb, I have had close encounters with the obsessive nature of gardening aficionados.

Nothing will stop the true gardener. But some of your clients might find that pain keeps them from enjoying this pastime to the fullest. Weeding, hoeing, raking, digging, and seeding all involve repetitive motions and put strain on various muscles and joints,

Warm Up, Stay Loose, and Enjoy the Dirt
Here are a few tips for pain-free gardening that you can pass along to your clients:

1. Before you hit the dirt, warm up. Gardening is exercise. You'd warm up your muscles before you do cardio work at the gym—same goes for gardening. It doesn't have to be much—walking around the block a couple of times will get your blood moving and your muscles ready for work.
2. When you're shoveling or digging, keep the shovel and your load close to your body, just like you would (should) when you're lifting a heavy box.
3. Keep your wrists in a neutral position (not overly extended or flexed for long periods) and as relaxed as possible. Tools like the ones at the right will help keep your wrists in the proper alignment.
4. Instead of bending over at the waist, squat or kneel if you have good knees. If your knees aren't so great, use a gardening bench or stool. And if your knees are in good shape, keep them that way by using a kneeling pad.
5. When you're watering, carry smaller loads and hold them close to your body, with a bent elbow.
6. Try tools with extended handles to minimize bending and kneeling.
   
7. Pause frequently for mini-stretch breaks.

Selecting Ergonomic Tools
Ergonomics is the science of designing tools and environments to fit the body, rather than the other way around. In the past several years, "ergonomic" has become a buzzword, and companies often label items with the term for marketing purposes. Before you spend a bunch of money on ergonomic tools, use the KISS (that's Keep It Simple, uh, Sweetie) principle:

• If it doesn't feel right, it's not right for you. That's kind of a big "duh," but it's easy to be misled by ergonomic claims, flowery descriptions, and even "impartial" reviews.
• If it feels heavy when you try it out, it'll get heavier with repetitive use.
• A lot of so-called ergonomic stuff pretends to be ergonomic by just slapping on a larger, supposedly one-size-fits-all grip. Hands come in different sizes; so should ergonomic tools. If the grip feels in any way uncomfortable at first, it'll just get more uncomfortable with use.

I wish you years of blissful and pain-free gardening!

Earth laughs in flowers. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Relieve Stress with Virtual Bubble Wrap

I just had to share this one with you guys. As the creator modestly says, it's only the most fulfilling experience on the World Wide Web!" How can you possibly top that? "All the fun of ordinary bubble wrap, but when you're done, you can start over!!!" It's a "silly, strange, bizarre, weird, useless, funny, silly, mindless time waster and stress reliever" and I LOVE IT!!

Full sheet of virtual bubble wrap
Use this fun time waster yourself and pass it along to your stressed-out clients. Make sure you have your speakers on! And be sure to check out "Manic Mode" and listen to what happens when you choose "Fresh Sheet."

If you want to explore this addictive pastime further (and who wouldn't ;-), check out

Virtual bubble wrap's home page

You can:

• Add virtual bubble wrap to your homepage
• Learn bubble wrap etiquette
• Get techniques for popping "real" bubble wrap
• Try the "insane" version (only if you're into fart humor)

Have fun, go wild, and start popping!

p.s. A belated Happy Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day! This momentous event occurred on January 26th.

The Dark Side of your Computer Mouse

A New Voice for the Blog
Just thought I'd give you a brief intro to the new "blog voice." I'm Jan, and I've been a massage therapist for close to 30 years (hmmm, sounds like an AA confession - "My name is Jan and I am..."). In additional to being an LMP, my background includes some geekiness - I've written about 20 computer books, taught software classes, and worked as a tech writer for a sadly departed internet start-up.

I look forward to sharing stuff with you like: interviews with establishments that employ massage therapists, tips you can share with your clients, professional development tidbits (CEU info, etc.), and self-care. I'd love to hear any comments you have about my posts, answer questions, and find out about topics you'd like to see included in the blog.

Ergonomics and Your Clients
Enough of that for now. On to my major soapbox issue: ERGONOMICS. I've been researching and counseling my clients on this for many years, and I put together a series of ergonomics brown bags for downtown offices when I was working as a software training coordinator back in the early 90's. (Fair warning: ergonomics is one of my favorite topics).

I learned that a lot of your clients' aches, pains and other issues could be greatly alleviated by paying more attention to what they're doing with their bodies on a daily basis. I often talk to my massage clients about lifestyle/ergonomic changes that can be helpful. Here's one area you can explore with yours. If you or your clients have upper back and/or shoulder pain that gets progressively worse as the day goes on, that sneaky mouse might be the culprit.

Mouse Test
There's no such thing as an ergonomic mouse. I realize this is considered heresy, but bear with me for a moment. You'll need a partner for this little experiment. Just grab anyone and sit them down at the computer. Now, rest your open palm gently over their right shoulder blade area and have them move the mouse around for about 30 seconds.

Just notice the muscle movement under your hand. That's it. The muscle action will be slight, but realize that every single time you move the mouse, you're initiating that muscle action. That muscle and several others. Several hundred times a day. Doesn't matter how cute the mouse looks; that arm still has to move. No wonder your client's neck, shoulder, and possibly forearm are painful and maybe burning at the end of those 13 hour days! In honor of Jacob, a Biznik friend of mine, this issue shall henceforth be called Computer Mouse Syndrome. AKA CMS (gotta have an acronym).

Why Should You Use a Touchpad?
If you've used a laptop, you've probably used a touchpad. Instead of having to move your whole arm every time, you just move your index finger and tap (it doesn't even have to be your index finger). So you're not activating those back and shoulder muscles that get so overworked with heavy mouse use. Next time you use a laptop, pay attention and see if you notice a difference.

Of course, laptops create different ergonomic issues because the monitor's connected to the keyboard, so you're usually looking down... - but that's another story for another day.

If you notice a difference when you use a touchpad, consider buying one to replace your mouse and suggesting touchpads to your clients with computer-related neck and shoulder issues. Cirque makes several versions of their Glidepoint touchpads with various levels of bells and whistles.

I hope you're all having a fabulous holiday. And I REALLY hope you're all managing to stay safe, warm and dry with this seemingly never-ending snow and ice.

Jan W, LMP
http://www.findtouch.com/