Connecting, Communicating, and Becoming the Drop of Water that Forms a Canyon

Miscommunication. It happens sometimes. A client recently told me about how her poor little toy poodle accidentally feel in the icy cold backyard swimming pool the other day. Rushing him into the house wrapped in a towel, she shrieked up the stairs to her husband, "Hey!! Dottie fell in the pool!" To which he called back, "Okay, bring me back a coupla bear claws will ya?" More shrieking followed on her part, to which he replied, having finally heard her and run down the stairs, "I thought you said you were going to the store!" As awful as all this must have been to poor shivering Dottie, you have to admit the humor in it . . . frankly, I laughed so hard, I almost swallowed my tongue.

Miscommunication in massage can be awful too, and much less laughable. Or perhaps I should say "lack of communication" instead of "miscommunication." Someone asked me once what I thought was the most important factor in building clientele and retaining clientele outside of giving a damn good massage. "Listening," I replied. "Listening to the client, and what she says to you about her pain, about her life, about her stress. Listening to the eyes in your head and to the eyes in your palms and fingertips. Listening to your gut. And then when you're done listening, there's the caring. Because if you listen and they sense that, and you care, and they sense that, then they will come back again and again. And their pain will improve, their lives will improve, in both direct and indirect ways. And you as the therapist will be like one of the little drops of water that over a millenia carve a canyon.

I truly believe that to be successful, true to your life's purpose, you must communicate and connect with clients. There are a zillion massage therapist in Washington state. Why should any given client "land" with you? Communicate, connect, and find out. I've been lucky enough to work with many excellent therapists each as different as one snowflake to another. But the ones who had large, loyal clienteles were communicating, connecting, listening, caring. Not all in the same ways, mind you. Loud and bright, quiet and subdued, strong and light handed, etc., etc. All different. All wonderful with human beings. All diggging out a canyon of healing with drops of water in an often parched world.

For a caring, involved therapist, communicating, connnecting, listening, and caring are generally not that hard. But everyone has bad days, tired days. Everyone occassionally ends up with that client that makes her think, "Good lord, why is this person being such an ass?" When I find myself in such places, I pray, "Goddess, take my hands and work through me, because you know things I don't and I am emptied out" or "Universe, this guy is really being mean, but I love him if only as a child of God, and so please let me give him the best massage I can." In this way, there is still a thread of communication and connection. The recipients of "tired" massages are still thrilled, and even "mean people" are feeling much more benelovent at the end of the session.

There is a last part to caring that I don't want to leave out here: ask the client to come back. And don't just ask her to come back, tell her honestly how often YOU think it would be good for her to come back based on the results of all your listening. It's the same as having a potential friend over for a visit. If you say, "We should do this again sometime" and mean it, it'll give that person a warm glow that, "Okay, I need to go to bed now; drive safe" just won't.

Communicate, connect, listen, care. Do these things and your clientele will flow to and keep on flowing to you. And you will not only make a living, you will make a difference.